Funny holiday greeting cards messages

Every year, I love finding funny holiday cards available online, so many from cool small designers and shops that don’t have shareholders on their boards who look at the holiday card messages and say Are you kidding? We can’t sell that into Walgreen’s!

Here are some of the best funny Christmas cards we found this year. No fruitcake jokes, “your gift is this card” jokes, no Christmas ball jokes. You know what we mean. If you have the kinds of friends and family on your list who can take a Christmas card joke, then you may have the best gift of all.

LEGO related injuries Christmas card ($4.50, Shop Sapling Press)
If there is a parent in the world who can’t relate to this card, they will. Very soon.

Zombie Walker in a Winter Wonderland holiday card (.25, Seas and Peas)
Poor guy got zombified wearing his ugly Christmas sweater and is now doomed to wear it forever. What a way to go.

You’re good at holiday things (.50, Shop Sapling Press)
Know anyone like this in your life? If you can check all 7 boxes, score.

Getting drunk in folding chairs Christmas card (.99, Brutally Honest Cards)
This shop has so many great options but this one had us laughing out loud.

Betty White Christmas card ($4.25, Seas and Peas)
If we could have anyone join us for Christmas…

Santa Kiss holiday card (, Finch and Hare)
And the truth comes out.

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells… holiday card (.50, Little Lovelies Studio)
Your kids will probably get this one before you do.

Eat candy out of socks Christmas card (.50, Shop Sapling Press)
That about sums it up.

I just hate your house holiday card (.25, uncooked)
Dear neighbor with 8 inflatable blow-up reindeer on the front lawn….

Santa hot tub party Christmas card ($4, Darkroom and Dearly)
Olaf!

Justin Bieber ugly sweater Christmas card ($4.45, Pablo Panda)
There are other celebs too, but we have to go with the Biebs.

Twerk for Santa ($4.50, Sweet Perversion)
“I saw Mommy giving a lap dance to Saaaanta Claus….”

Seasons Greetings from Holidayville holiday card ($4.50, Emily McDowell Draws)
More erudite Christmas humor from one of our favorite artists. And honestly, don’t we all live on Freaking Pine Needles Everywhere Street, these days?

Don’t feel too special holiday card ($2.25, uncooked)