My morning muse for this morning is Jennifer of YouPinspireMe, who was recently crowing about how you know it’s Christmas time when your post about 25 Ways to Display Christmas Cards suddenly gets a ridiculous amount of organic search hits (no I won’t tell you how many, but I had to go cry over a beer about it).
My first thought was, “I obviously need to do something like this.” My second thought was, “Wait a minute, I don’t really get any Christmas cards anymore. Even my 90 year old grandmother has converted to e-cards. SERIOUSLY, who still uses mail??”
So in my best “keeping-up-with-the-Jones” fashion, I will show you 25 ways to fake your Christmas card prowess to other people when you host the Christmas get togethers.
1 – Take a trip to the Dollar store and write cards to yourself
Sign them using your left hand. And your kids. And your husband. Or just leave them blank. Who really picks up all your Christmas cards and looks at the inside anyway?
2 – After Christmas this year, go pilfer through your neighbours’ recycling bins
Steal all their Christmas cards for creative displaying next year. It’s not like people date them after all, and nobody’s going to realize that you don’t go to Jim’s Dental Clinic.
3 – Save the few cards you DO get and make an ever-growing card shrine
Is anybody going to notice that you’ve got 17 cards from Aunt Florence with her dog in them? Noooooo.
4 – Pretend you are a hipster, and that Christmas cards are beneath everyone’s dignity
I gave up Christmas cards before they were cool.
5 – Pretend you’re an eco-activist outraged on behalf of the Brazilian rain forest about Christmas waste
Did you know 17, 000 acres of rainforest die every year so that you can have your Christmas cards? Did you know 87% of statistics are made up on the spot? Well there you have it, then.
6 – Be a topper
For a reasonable price, you can get yourself one of those Jib Jab (or similar) cards where you spend 37 hours finding the perfect headshots of all your family, cut their mouths just so, and have them do a singing card that will completely melt everybody’s brain. Oh! You still send out paper cards. That’s cute.
7 – Lie lie lieeeee
I had these awesome hanging card displays, but the cats decided to swing from them like Tarzan on vines, and then little Joey set them on fire in a freak Christmas tree lighting accident…
8 – Own your laziness
Card displays? Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
9 – Blame someone else
Yeah, I used to do these amazing things with all my Christmas cards, but these days nobody really sends cards anymore….
10 – Blame someTHING else
Card displays? You mean dust displays. We’ve got allergies in this household, so we just figured not displaying it makes it easier for me to clean. Of course I dust every day! Don’t run your finger across my mantle.